it's not a trick, it's an illusion

I’m just not feeling work right now. I don’t know what it is. Maybe I’m thinking too much about the stuff I was venting about earlier. Either way, I’m just not in a good mood. Good thing I remembered I have a blog to complain to! So I took to walking around Westwood and ended up at Hollywood video. I wasn’t hungry so I decided to skip out on lunch. This store in particular is one of many closing and I decided to check out what videos they have left and, maybe, find something to cheer myself up. Now….if you want to find a bunch of movies you’ve never heard of, visit a video rental store that is closing in 5 days. I probably found 6 movies there that I’ve actually heard of. And I’m a nerd so that says a lot. So yeah…there was nothing there that I considered buying. Walking back I was trying to find a nice quiet place to sit, contemplate, and avoid all human contact. I used to have those places at work but I can’t use those same places anymore because I usually associate them with thinking about existence as a benson rested in my fingers. Instead I tried sitting in the shaded part of the outside stairs that lead to my floor. I sat there for a couple of minutes just staring and clearing my mind. Foolishly thinking I can will it into being a blank slate. Then the door busted open and I, instinctively, got up and bolted. I have since returned to my cubicle where I just can’t get my Monday started.
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So I’m considering writing as many entries as I possibly can. Or I’ll occasionally add to this entry during my lulls at work.
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The weekend wasn’t bad. Went to my nephew’s birthday party where the kids were visited by Spiderman! Yeah…it was my cousin in costume which made it oh so awesome. I just wish I took more pictures. I’ve been camera shy lately. I’m hoping to get over it soon. Afterwards, we met up with John John, Ivy, and Keno at King’s Hawaiian since they were in the area. Well, Keno is always in the area but the other two usually aren’t. Then the Pacquiao fight. Go Manny! Yesterday, Millicent spent most of the day studying so I watched TV and contemplated playing videogames as I wasn’t up to doing anything else or spending any money. Instead I did some running with Phil, my brother in law. Real nice run actually. We just talked a lot. Videogames, wedding talk, the people he sees when he goes running around the school which we were running around, and work. I don’t know if I ever said this before but I’ve never been disappointed in the men my sisters have married. They’re all easy to get along with and to hangout with. But, most importantly, they make my sisters happy and they make each other better people. I hope Millicent’s siblings think of her and I in the same way.
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I think I need to change the music I’m listening to. It’s bringing my spirits lower which is both a good thing and a bad thing. When my spirits are up I tend to avoid writing. Where they are right now, coupled with the lack of productivity at work, has resulted in one super long entry. Yeah…I’m in a good writing mood. So I’m switching from Cassino to Copeland’s latest album. The writing must continue.
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I’m finding it hard to watch Laker games. I’m in that superstitious frame of mind where I’m thinking I’m bad luck when I watch games. Case in point…yesterday I watch on and off to see the Rockets build up a 10+ point lead. I change the channel, get my mind off the game, and then remember to turn it on. Lakers are down by four. Then I watch Rockets bury back to back threes. Frakkin A. Another thing is I get too worked up over Laker games. It was fine when I was younger but I’m older now and could have a heart attack. I guess the games mean even more because the Lakers have a realistic shot at the title. Yes…I do think every year the Lakers will win the title. And, yes, I get heartbroken when they get eliminated in the first round. But the NBA analysts are actually digging the Lakers chances which further raise my expectations which make it a longer fall if they don’t win it all. I hope Pau, Bynum, and Ariza come back soon. Hell…you too Mihm. Come back soon.
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Shit…damn right it’s long. I got a lot to say. And to an audience that has no choice but to listen to me. So if I annoy you, just stop reading. Which makes me wonder, who still reads this? I was a pretty frequent blogger. But having my work ethic questioned at work, a larger workload at work, and a few odd things happening with moveable type have lessened the time I have to write at work. I’d write at home, but I’m usually so sick of the computer by the time I’m at home that it never happens.
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Yeah…I’m not loving this Monday. I think I’ll try to be productive now. I just got two hours left. Hopefully the drive home is fast with it being Monday. Not too keen on a long, quiet drive home.