a realization of how it's always been...

have to write about something, right?

2010-06-07T21:00:20Z

So this is the weird, end of the world, dream I had. I was floating through a dark, sky using some sort of device that was saving me somehow. A parachute? Some floating vehicle? And from what...I'm not sure...but I was landing somewhere with a sense of relief. But it was sort of like relief in that I was saved or I had just saved someone from some apocalypse or disaster. Around the sky were crashed planes. But they were floating crashed planes. Like they were stuck at a point in time before they fully exploded. Charred, empty planes with missing with missing wings or cockpits. Just a sky filled with these. That's all I remember before waking up. I was relieved it was a dream. Then I got pissed when I remembered the Lakers lost last night. Fucking refs

5 months later...

2009-09-18T03:20:35Z

...i'm a homeowner, married and 30 years old. still not sure to write about. just too much has happened that it's hard to be write about specific things. little blurbs here and there i'll twitter about. but the long entries...just can't write about right now. maybe i can't blog anymore...just tweet.

aye dios mio

2009-04-10T17:16:59Z

apparently my secret website is so secret i forgot my login and my password. d'oh!

sabin's theme sounds different from what i remember

2009-02-21T17:50:01Z

final fantasy songs on piano sound badass. maybe i'm just biased. either way, i'm going through youtube listening to various final fantasy songs and hopefully finding good stuff.

watching the nfl combine right now. lord, i can't wait for the nfl draft. michael crabtree is actually 6'1.25" and not the reported 6'3". he also needs a screw in his foot so he can't do any workouts till the draft. the height i don't mind, but i was really curious about his speed. i know he's not fast, but neither is larry fitzgerald. he does run decent routes and has great hand and jumping ability. andre smith went awol during the combine. what the hell? bad choice. apparently he showed up the first day and announced he was out of shape, per mike mayock. then he disappeared and he and his agent had conflicting reasons why. could he have a personality disorder like barret robbins? also, andre smith got suspended for the last game of the season. raiders could use a better tackle and were probably looking at him. other top tackles include michael oher and eugene monroe. they're actually the top rated tackles. i watched their position drills. not bad. saw their bench press and not as impressed. they only put up 21 and 23 reps. ideally, you'd prefer 30+ but the analysts point out that bench press isn't a great measure for long armed OL which both are. and coaches prefer long armed OL. makes me wonder how great long armed OL did on the bench press.

choke is out on dvd. i have yet to rent it. i also missed it's run in theaters. also need to rent wackness and....there's a lot more that i just can't think of right now. i also need to read more. trying to go through all the books i've bought and haven't read. there's a new chuck palahniuk book coming out soon. honestly, i haven't enjoyed his recent books. like i'll start them and won't come close to finishing them. i think choke and survivor hooked me in easily and the others didn't have the same effect on me. one problem is these acts of leisure require time. and time, lately, has been something i've been short on. not in a bad way. i think i've been productive. seeing family. getting more wedding stuff done. well...except for the time spent on gears. but i've gotten a lot better i think. i'm not the deer in the headlights i was when i started. fricken trying to play a multiplayer match with the instruction booklet open. yeah that game rules.

i strongly dislike kevin garnett

2009-01-03T16:44:39Z

who is the blood ninja?

2008-12-13T03:58:28Z

watching the laker game. no letdowns please. also decided to sort my hotmail since i have stuff in my inbox from 5 years ago. i wonder why i kept these emails? most i kept because of amusement. they were funny. they were perverted. they made me blush. a few reminded of how down i was. a lot of them reminded me of how lucky i am to have the friends i have. i don't get to see them as often as i would like to, but i'm happy whenever i can. some of these emails trip me out because i'll remember exactly when and why they were written but can't believe how long ago they were written. so yeah...organizing my hotmail account has made me a bit nostalgic. but i've been laughing mostly at all the stuff rex had sent me before. see below. it made me cry with laughter.

bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?
BritneySpears14: Aight.
bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.
BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, bloodninja.
bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up.
bloodninja: Me too baby.
BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest.
bloodninja: I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.
BritneySpears14: Hey...
bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 Cock of the Infinite.
BritneySpears14: Funny I still don't see it.
bloodninja: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty F*ck of the Beyondness.
BritneySpears14: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.
bloodninja: Don't f*ck with me bitch, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.
bloodninja: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl. 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl. 2 Druid.
BritneySpears14: Don't ever message me again you piece of shit.
bloodninja: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.
bloodninja: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.
bloodninja: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now.
bloodninja: Baby?

want more? see here.

bueller? bueller?

2008-12-10T15:12:20Z

who ever is absent from work today I'm assuming is calling in gay.

....

2008-11-05T05:01:30Z

wouldn't it be cool to be at grant park right now? pretty moving to watch. seeing history being made. wow. just....wow.

=)

2008-10-28T18:03:01Z

i have an excuse for everything. i'm pathetic. see? an excuse for having too many excuses. oh well. i'll just owe up to it and figure it out soon. can't blame others. there's a little truth in everything. the end.

because whining about it will always solve the problem

2008-10-14T14:49:24Z

spoiler alert. i will discuss some parts of heroes. fyi.

so recently i learned the term "idiot plot." per turkey city lexicon via wikipedia, idiot plot is a plot that "functions only because all the characters involved are idiots: They behave in a way that suits the author's convenience, rather than through any rational motivation of their own." it's helping me enjoy Heroes to a certain extent. as long as i assume everyone on the show is an idiot, the show is much more enjoyable. yeah...it's not the case with all the characters but man....a whole lot of them. like a lot of them conveniently forget about the powers they have. why can't hiro just go back in time and stop himself from opening the safe? i don't know. but i'll continue to watch. maybe they should've avoided time travel powers. too many problems with that. one...it's been a main plot point 3 years running. season 1, this is what the future looks like, prevent it! season 2, this is the dark future we need to prevent, don't let it happen! season 3, peter still has a scar and sylar is good, fix it! but i guess if there's one thing to learn in sci fi, is that tampering with the past never secures the "proper" future. maybe that's why hiro won't do that with preventing the opening of the safe. i don't know. just whining. yay.

i hate "work"

2008-10-09T15:49:07Z

i really do. it's funny how angry i can make myself. i'll just let time some pass and wait for it to pass. i know i'll still be angry about it later or when i bring it up because, no matter how much time passes, shit still bothers me. really bothers me. nothing to do but man up or move on. oh well. i'm manning up. or is that just a rationale I undertake to make me think i'm doing the "right" thing. fuck if i know.

i feel old. just sometimes though. like yesterday myleene had some friends over. all freshman. probably all born in 1990. yeah....1979. whoop whoop! like the smashing pumpkins song. i love that song. but what the fuck. i don't know how to act in front of them. not like i'm the most mature person. but should i really corrupt their minds? so i didn't say anything perverted around them. i kept quiet. i focused on making dinner. one of them asked me how my day was. should i have responded "i fucken hate work. it sucks ass"? i wanted to, but i chose not to. "work was great. er..it was okay" focus on cooking. focus on using too much vinegar and not enough soy sauce. dangit. but this wasn't the only case of social awkwardness around youngens. two weeks ago i had lunch with jovan and two student workers. young guys. single guys. they were just talking about dating and picking up chicks. my mind is thinking about weddings so it was strange to hear the alternate side of things. so i stayed quiet. i listened. i chewed my kalbi 100 times before swallowing.

yeah...i haven't posted since August so I'll try to make this a long one.

marvin has asked for alternative/rock love songs. how about depressing songs? that's all i find in my ipod. i've sent him 5 songs...but they're not necessarily happy. like they're about being in love...but a bit of a dark take on love. like death cab for cutie "i will follow you into the dark." or "you can do better than me" mostly because the last line is "you can do better than me, but i can't do better than you." the closest i can get it jimmy eat world "for me this is heaven". i think Tom Delonge had JEW play this at his wedding. oh yeah...marvin asked for songs he could use at his wedding.

i'm not digging work. just frustrating. but you look at the big picture and their's much more frustrating things going on. more pressing concerns than all my little stupid ones. just need to relax. don't get mad at anyone. understand that some people were just raised differently. some people are just idiots. some are just too fucken narrow minded. some people lack manners. some people don't realize their being hypocritical. some people just like to vent and not do anything about it. i call myself out on that last one.

i will follow you into the dark

2008-08-25T21:59:10Z

Love of mine
Someday you will die
But I'll be close behind
I'll follow you into the dark
No blinding light
Or tunnels to gates of white
Just our hands clasped so tight
Waiting for the hint of a spark

If heaven and hell decide
That they both are satisfied
And illuminate the "No"s
On their vacancy signs
If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark

In catholic school
As vicious as Roman rule
I got my knuckles bruised
By a lady in black
And I held my tongue
As she told me, "Son,
Fear is the heart of love"
So I never went back

If heaven and hell decide
That they both are satisfied
And illuminate the "No"s
On their vacancy signs
If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark

You and me
Have seen everything to see
From Bangkok to Calgary
And the soles of your shoes
Are all worn down
The time for sleep is now
But it's nothing to cry about
Because we'll hold each other soon
In the blackest of rooms

If heaven and hell decide
That they both are satisfied
And illuminate the "No"s
On their vacancy signs
If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark
Then I'll follow you into the dark

-"I Will Follow You Into the Dark", Death Cab for Cutie

re: nba draft 2008

2008-06-27T15:38:23Z

Minnesota. In the....'96 Draft Minnesota drafted Ray Allen. They then traded his rights to the Bucks for the rights to Stephon Marbury. Allen *argh* NBA Champion, Marbury team cancer. Two years go, Minnesota drafted Brandon Roy and then traded his rights for the rights of Randy Foye drafted by the Blazers. Roy NBA All-Star, Foye possible started. Last night Minnesota drafted OJ Mayo and, in an 8 player deal, obtained the rights to Kevin Love from Memphis Grizzlies. Let's see how this plays out.
....
speaking of the Grizzlies...they now have 5 combo/point guards in OJ Mayo, Mike Conley, Kyle Lowry, Marko Jaric and Javaris Crittenton. Is there any way the Lakers can reacquire Critt? i love his potential.
....
Can the Spurs trade their 1st round pick, George Hill, to the Lakers? The Lakers were high on him and Spurs allegedly e-mailed all nba teams about selling their 1st round pick, 26th overall.
....
unsubstantiated rumor that i will comment on: Lamar Odom, Jordan Farmar, and Luke Walton or Trevor Ariza to the Bulls for Kirk Hinrich and a re-signed Luol Deng. Financially...it could work depending on what Luol Deng is re-signed too. Bulls have Derek Rose now so they don't need Hinrich. The Bulls can only sign Gordon or Deng and, if Deng isn't happy there, could sign Gordon and trade Deng. They'll get a veteran with a big salary that can come off the books in a year. Lakers get a younger PG (compared to Fish) and a SF that can hit that 18 footer and keep defenses honest. that and Hinrich has always been my favorite non-Laker player. i'd buy his jersey in a second.

=(

2008-06-18T16:42:38Z

it's going to be like this till next season finally starts. i can't wait for it to start.

btw...I have a theory about Tiger Woods. I'm fairly certain he's a Laker fan. I think the reason the story of his knee surgery and subsequent break from the rest of the golf season leaked today to take away from the Lakers' defeat.

no tears for the sheep

2008-06-17T20:35:50Z

To say I’m not feeling today would be an understatement. I just hope it ends on a good note.* Then going through today would be well worth it. It’s just so slow right now. I was trying to rely on good old research to get me through this awesome Tuesday but I have nothing to research. Last week it was looking at TVs for my parents and different HDMI cable companies. The fruits of my research led me to advising my parents on a Panasonic 50” Plasma 1080p and monoprice cables. The tv is up and running and the cables should be arriving today actually. That was my project for Thursday night and Saturday morning. The Sunday project was transferring old files from the old computer to the new family computer. Alas, I have nothing to research. Well, nothing I should consider buying. So what do I do now? Lots of thinking probably. Not necessarily a bad thing. When I was in LA spending hours and hours in my room that’s all I did. Just lie in my bed. Stare at a wall. Get up for a smoke. Follow that up with whatever Minutemaid fruit juice was in the fridge. Some could confuse that with depression, but I like to think I was pacing myself. What would I think about back then? I don’t know. Lots of stupid stuff that only I would find funny. Lots of depressing stuff that only I would find funny. Those were the days. The more things change, the more they stay the same? Definitely.

*A Laker win preferably.